Am I my Sister’s Keeper? – The Blog
“Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong or Mr. How Long
Ok all, I have to ask the age old question, do the ladies go to da club to find Mr. Right as in husband or to find Mr. Right Now as in let’s have some fun. Better yet, brother’s do you do the same? You know this is a new century and to let E-Harmony tell it, 1 out of 5 relationships start online but that’s another blog! So is it a far stretch to say yes you go to the club to find your Mr. or Mrs. Right? If you do go to the club and find a man would he be a good mate? The saying goes you get what you’re looking for so if you meet him at the club does that necessarily make him automatically Mr. Wrong?
Now let me back up and tell you a little story so you can understand how I came up with this little dilemma. My girl and I wanted to get out so of course me, being all saditty suggested a swanky little restaurant where you can get awesome drinks, grown up conversation and real people music. It was kind of dead so my girl looks at me and says “come on let’s go to Shout. Those of you from the “A” know exactly the place. For those of you who don’t know it’s this hip little trendy place off Peachtree where all the fabulous people go! (yawn!)
So I look at my girl with a raised eyebrow. “No, it’s not what you’re thinking it’s cool and besides they play old school music.” She insisted.
So we go. I walk in. It wasn’t bad. Not crowded and the music was nice. It was old school. It was some kind of Omega Psi Phi funders day weekend as there were Q’s everywhere. Everyone was congregating at the bar. This Q comes up to me practically salivating and rightfully so. I was looking Exxxxquisite as the gay hostess shrieked at the restaurant and I had to agree with him. I was dressed in skinny jeans, with black patent leather spiked heeled boots over the top, a black bustier with a form fitting leather jacket over the bustier. He was ogling me like I was a piece of steak but that was to be expected from a Q! So he was spitting his best rap in my ear and I mean spitting in the literal sense of the word. He saw I wasn’t buying it so he walked away. Now don’t get me wrong. He was a nice guy but married. So I was polite but after so long he had to keep it moving!
My girl and I were enjoying the music dancing. We were taking a break. My girl headed to the bar. Mr. Q dog came over to sit next to me. He starts coming at me talking about why I’m here.
“Why are you here?” He said with a half slur.
“Enjoying the music and having some fun. Just like you.” I replied
“Why you got these all hanging out?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Them.” He said pointing to my breasts. “Those are for someone at home, for your husband or something.” He continued.
“What?” I said with this disgusted look on my face.
“Yeah there are some respectable men in here?”
“Ok what is that supposed to mean?”
“Well you could meet your husband in here and those should be for him.” He said. Mind you the brother didn’t bother to ask if I was already married or if I had a significant other. He just automatically assumed that I was single. He continued on his triad about how I should be dressed and that basically I was looking like a tramp and no respectable man would want me as he was sitting there salivating all over me. He even had the nerve to say that if he’d asked me he could definitely take me home and screw me. He didn’t use those words exactly if you know what I mean.
I had this incredulous look on my face. First of all, he wasn’t my type. He had this played out S-curl in his head and was dressed like he came from his college dorm room. The Negro was 35 and dressed like Webster. I started not to say anything because basically he was calling me a ho and that if I looked the way he wanted me to look then maybe one of his frat brothers would marry me. So I turned to him and said:
“I didn’t come in here to find holy matrimony, I got dressed up, purposely looking sexy to make Nigga’s like you drool, get my dance on, get my drink on and go home. I do not go to a club to look for Mr. Right.” I wanted to add “Mother Fucker” but that just wouldn’t have been lady like! J
After that statement, Webster left to find another target who would buy his bull shit. I continued to get my dance on until the music and the crowd changed and I went home like a respectable woman does when she has had a fun night out on the town with her girls!
Ok your turn to chime in:
1. Do women go to the clubs searching for Mr. Right?
2. If you meet someone at the club could he be marriage material?
3. Is there something wrong with looking sexy when you go out?
5 comments:
Janice this is very good...girl you really have a niche for story telling
As shallow as a big city can be the answer to the first two questions is yes. Is it practical when it comes to long term planning? No. The club scene is more for golddigging women and well off cats that will exploit a woman's greed for their benefit, which leaves brothers like me left with the 2 o'clock leftovers, which is fine because by then we're all beautiful thanks to the bartenders. Bottom line that's a meat market, bougie club or a hole in the wall its all the same.
As far as looking sexy out with the girls (thumbs up by the way), Where do you think the ladies in free idea is for? To get dudes in and let us have our choices. Club promoters know that ya'll like to get in places for free, and they know we like to be outnumbered by women so you getting in free serves them a purpose, you are the merchandise and presentation is the key, so women dressing sexy brings in more money to the clubs and unassumingly you are doing a good job for the owners.
mv
Ps, this is not intended to discourage any ladies from dressing sexy. Less is more in my book.
Well being a vet of the scene here in the A I must admit the scene has changed quite a bit but a lot of the players(fake baller's , thirsty groupies, lost transplants, wannabe rappers/producers, "bathroom" models etc etc yada yada)remain the same. So going out you kind of know what to expect and where too expect it. Shout i.e for instance when it first opened b4 the gen public crowd gt a hold of it was really chill place. Now and recently(last2years) nt so much. You will get the "zoo" experience there. Here is where I digress on the players...
You can go out, look sexy(very much appreciated btw)dance, have drinks and go home. You can also go out "looking" for a good time if you know what I mean but you have to know and understand ALL that may come with it and be prepared to deal with that. However that is a crap shoot because you usually end up with a clingy, emotional baggage filled, "representative" of the person you actually smashed. Every blue moon you may hit the lotto aka no real consequences aka a really cool person. But truthfully how often does that happen?
Unfortunately a lot of women do go to the club looking for Mr. Right while most dudes go looking for Ms. Right Now. That in itself presents a conundrum in expectations on both parts. Dooming the possibility of a relationship from the start.
Now is it possible to find a future husband or a future wife in the club? Anything is possible. I've heard stories of happily married couples meeting in the club. With that said I wouldn't go to the club looking to get married. Me personally I go to get my boogie on(you know me..I love to dance)Plus dealing w/the drama of some quick punany is nt my cup of tea. Most of the times I have been "chosen" to smash said punany I was minding my own bizness getting my groove on, nt "looking"for it.*shrugs* Also I'd rather love find me instead of looking for it ANYWHERE. If its to be, it will be. If not life goes on. This big blue ball called Earth will continue to spin on its axis regardless of if Im single or married. So till I meet Ms. Right Im gonna kp it moving, keep getting my boogie on and being the life of the party.....HOLLA!!!<---That is my name by the way!:-)
I hate when drunk guys get over opinionated..if a woman wants to look sexy when she goes out then so what! We like to feel attractive, its in our nature. He knew he didn't have a chance with you so his next step was to try and degrade you...sorry fool.
Hello Ladies!!!
Hey Janice girl, love the stories,
I do believe SOME woman go out looking for Mr. Right. Some may go out in hopes of meeting a man who will buy them drinks and taking them out on a few dates. Sometime they will enjoy each other company and this can learn into a relationship.
SOME woman likes to go out with their friends to dance, eat, and enjoy each other’s company in a different environment. Some may have their other half at home waiting for them.
Meeting someone at a club is not a bad thing, some people may go to the club to have a good time and meet their future spouse. I would not say meeting someone in a club is a bad thing. A person can meet someone in a church and he may be Mr. wrong. It does not matter where you meet an individual, it matter what type of person he or she is.
No, it’s nothing wrong with being sexy when you go out, hell SEXY is my middle name.
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