Sisterhood – What’s
going on? (April 2012)
Ok I had my first
book signing for my book “The Forgotten A Love Story”. The gist of the story was these 5 African
American women who appeared to be friends.
Each had there own issues but the backstabbing and hateful nature toward
one another. The topic of discussion at the book signing was what happened to
the sisterhood? The hatred, the
backstabbing, tearing down of one another has been in my opinion getting worse
and we as a community of sisters needs to address the issue.
I have been a victim of an African American
woman’s vengeance at my current place of employment. In her opinion I was negative, unfriendly and
incompetent. I couldn’t ask a question
without her turning her head in disgust.
Every word I said she twisted and made it seem that I was just being
negative. Not only did she try to tear
me down, berate me, and make me feel as if I didn’t know my job she use her
power to tear me down in performance appraisals and with other managers.
I got angry. I couldn’t possibly let her get away with
this. I went to HR. HR did nothing to stop this woman. I finally requested to be removed from her
unit because it was exhausting. To make
matter worse she still had to complete my performance appraisal even though I
wasn’t in her unit for 3 months out of the 6 months remaining in the year. You guessed it, because I addressed the issue
of her negative attitude and hostile working environment she rated me very
low. I ask how can you go from advanced
or proficient 6 months prior to developing 6 months later. I screamed retaliation and made a big stink
about it.
After reading
chapter 11 titled “I Am My Sister’s Keeper: Why We Need One Another Now More
than Ever” from the book Black Woman
Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle
Obama by Sophia A. Nelson, I’m not so sure I handled the situation
properly. Yes my manager was wrong for disliking me for no other apparent
reason but because she felt I was a threat to her leadership. But could I have reassured her that her
leadership was sound and that I appreciated her as a leader?
The chapter points
out how we will give brother’s, white men, white women a pass but we would go
off on a sister in a minute. Why is
that? Have we come so far from the 40’s,
50’s, and 60’s that we are not our sister’s keeper any more? The chapter also talks about how angry we
sister’s are. I was a little perturbed
by this because after all don’t we have the right to be angry over the
situations and issues we have to face as a black woman? But I had to stop and
really think about it. Yes I am angry with
the issues we have to face but do I really have to take it out on my
sister? Shouldn’t I uplift and encourage
her because I know first hand what she is going through?
It’s hard to turn
the other cheek even when a sister is tearing me down but I am making a conscious
effort to hold my fellow sister in high esteem, to help my sister advance in
her career, and to present her in a positive light.
Two Books you need
to read about the subject Black Woman
Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle
Obama by Sophia A. Nelson and my book The
Forgotten a Love Story by Janice Brantle. The books will give you a good
perspective on what not to do and how we can help each other prosper as African
American women.
Your thoughts on
the subject are greatly appreciated. Please leave your comments on the subject:
1. How
do African American women strengthen our relationships with each other?
2. Have
we discarded the sister code of the past?
3. How
can we put the anger behind us and work towards elevating each other?
